Eton Blues

How many times have i told myself to try to be more positive about my work? to embrace what I'm doing and make the most out of it. Try to learn everything because maybe, just maybe.. I'll eventually learn to love this job and everything about it. I tried cheering myself up so I'll have some drive to go to work, organize my mind- path so things will just flow smoothly once I set my foot here.It was all in vain, because after a week or a few days i'll start feeling this weathering work blues again.

The fact is, I hate this job.

When I graduated I admit I had no clear vision on what path I would take. No particular industry I would want to pursue. So I settled on the first job that will take me.

All I know was that I wanted to do marketing. And I still do.

I just wanted to learn how things are done in the corporate world. Learn more about my craft.

Bottom line is, I wanted to learn.

And apparently, Eton is not giving me that.I mean, I guess I can accept this lowly job with ease if only they'll teach me something. Despite being constantly neglected by everybody in my department, especially by my boss, inspite of the low salary, long working hours, I believe I can put up with that as long as I'm learning.

Only consolation I'm getting here is that there's a comfort room at the far-end of the hallway outside the office. The last cubicle there serves as my sanctuary of tears whenever i needed it, my only loyal friend here. It's my only witness how I suffer emotionally here. The only place I can cry my eyes out. Where I can pour my frustrations to.

How pitiful.

I do hope I never have to visit it again. Never will I cry because of work again.

Please dear God, help me appreciate this. It's the only job I have now. And you know how hard it is to find another one at times like this. Please, please, make me love this job.